Stupid feeling.

Of course,it´s stupid.I even don´t know how can I feel it after all that shit.It´s a mix of feelings running in my head that makes this contradiction live.Why do I feel the butterflies in my stomach?And after that I only feel anger flowing in my body?Then my fists are flying against the wall and I don´t feel any kind of pain when it collides.I just feel worst when it happens.
My head is full of questions and I have a strong desire to ask it to you,but I just don´t know how.After what I discover I don´t know what was true or what wasn´t,because I though that I knew you like anybody does.It seems easy,after all,it is just a couple o questions...but it´s not that easy when I´m living in this contradiction.I want to look you straight in the eyes but I don´t want to see you.I want to live that all over again but I want to forget what we had.I want to move on but I´m stucked on what we´ve dreamed about.
I just don´t know what to think.

"...Did you ever think I get lonely?
Did you ever think that I needed love?
Did you ever think, stop thinking
You're the only one that I'm thinking of

You'll never know how hard I tried
To find my space and satisfy you too
Things will be better when I'm dead and gone
Don't try to understand, knowing you, I'm probably wrong
But oh, how I lived my life for you,
Still you'd turn away..."